People get divorced for all kinds of different reasons. More often than not, it’s the little things that add up and lead to the decline of the relationship. According to experts, most couples that get divorced have a few silent relationship killers in common.
According to Dr. John Gottman, couples are pretty much doomed to fail if they have any of the following four traits: stonewalling, sarcasm, contempt and criticism. He called these “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Out of the four, Dr. Gottman identified contempt as the number one predictor of divorce.More like thisMost Relationships End. That Doesn’t Mean They Were A Failure.By Griffin Wynne30 Creative Opening Lines To Use On Dating AppsBy Lea Rose Emery and Carolyn Steber7 Things Couples Fight About That Can Actually Be HealthyBy Syeda Khaula Saad and Kristine FellizarAdele Reveals Devastating Lyrics From Several Songs On Her New AlbumBy Emlyn TravisRedefine your day with the Bustle newsletter.Stay on the edge of the day’s top stories guaranteed to inspire, inform, and entertain. From fashion to politics and everything in between, your Monday–Friday is upgraded.
While licensed professional counselor, E.J. Smith, tells Bustle that the other three “horsemen” can also be problematic, contempt is by far the most damaging. “When people start to look at their spouse with contempt or resentment, it colors the lens through which we see, observe and interpret our spouse,” Smith says. “Its presence undermines the desire to continue to work at our relationships. Even gestures and behaviors that could be seen as positive can be twisted in such a way that they’re seen as negative.”
7 Silent Killers That Can Lead To Divorce In Relationships:
Conflict Avoidance
Invalidating Emotions
Unresolved Trauma
Resentment
White Lies About Money
Stonewalling
Change